I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
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