it's like her boobs came off with her bra
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
