first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
My liver is preforming stress tests.
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
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