this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
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