If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
