I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
I just sucked dick on a ferry
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
Randomize
