btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
Randomize
