the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
Randomize
