I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
Randomize
