I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
Randomize
