Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
Randomize