i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
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