Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
I have tasted many bathrooms
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
Randomize
