sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Randomize
