she was so hammered she started drinking dishwasher detergent
I dont know whats funnier - that, or that we learned that poison control is closed at 2 AM
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize
