Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
Come share oat with me in your robe
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
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