Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
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