she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
He keeps bees of course he's weird
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
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