before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
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