I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
Randomize
