the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
Randomize
