But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
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