I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
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