Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
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