For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
Randomize
