Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
And then the night went full on bisexual.
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
Randomize
