Rock
Scissors
Fuck
Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
Randomize
