"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
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