you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
Randomize
