She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
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