butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
