Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
Randomize
