dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Randomize
