I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
Randomize
