Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
Randomize
