1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
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