So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
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