I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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