If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
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