as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
Randomize
