There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize
