i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
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