we have pet lesbian snakes
I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
Randomize
