it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
Randomize
