the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
you would pick up someone in the library
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
I want a musical about memes.
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
Randomize
