kristin has been a bad kristin
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
Randomize
