Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
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