Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
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