Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
I need to align my fucking chakras
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