It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Randomize
