i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
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