I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
i came on her dog
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
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