Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
Randomize
