If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
