so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
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