yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
Randomize