it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
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