Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
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