Ambien. No doubt about it.
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
Randomize
