yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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