Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
Theres a note on my antibiotics that says "Do not chew or crush. Swallow whole." I think that would be a good tattoo for just above my penis.
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
Your topless pictures make me question reality
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
Randomize
