the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
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