she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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