Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
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